To backtrack a little, I went home to Baltimore on my first leave between Basic and Technical School. I must confess, my mother got back a different daughter. I was Airman Scovens. I left home a smart-mouthed, back-talking, opinionated little girl masquerading as a woman. I returned a young military person with a new attitude. There I was, fresh out of Basic and Tech School; and anyone that's been thru that experience knows that it's a time period for stripping an individual down to basic raw materials, and rebuilding them with the principles and ideals representative of the United States military. It worked perfectly on me. Things that my mother would previously ask me to do would either not get done, or the back-talk that I would give about doing it was not worth it. Now, a second thought was not even produced my brain. My mother was an authority figure, and therefore, respect was automatic, and the chore was not a chore. It was simply a command given by my superior to be obeyed. Taking out the trash was nothing compared to scrubbing the building pillars with a toothbrush!

Being at home again was an eye-epening experience for me. Now I could SEE it. Baltimore was not the place to live out my hopes and dreams. All of those things that I used to dream about were slowly but surely coming into view on my horizon. It had now been confirmed for me that life really didn't have limits. The contrast was placed before me and it was stark. It was like placing hope along side of despair, and I was definitely coming down on the "hope" side. One evening while visiting, I had an epiphany. I went to my best friend's house. We were buddies from the word "go". Before I left for the military, we were inseparable! We got high together, we had boyfriends at the same time, we went to the same high school, and we cut the same classes together. Best of friends. Well, this particular evening, I went to her house. She, I and her sisters were back on the same page; just like I had never left. All of us were excited about seeing each other again, and we began to smoke weed and drink, listen to music; just generally partying. At some point in that setting, my mind started to wander. As I was daydreaming, I came to the realization that they were headed nowhere, not concerned about it, and that was where I was headed not more than 2 months ago! When I left Baltimore that time, it was with no trepidation. I was happy to be returning to my new life, with new friends, new paths to places that I never had access to before. I felt like I was on my way to somewhere. I had a plan and I was working it; and to top it all off, I was helping my mother to care for my sisters with the allotment that came from my paycheck every 15 days. I was good to go! Little did I know that probably should have started on Plan B that very day!